“How do I know if someone is attracted to me?” I get asked this question all the time and I get it; wondering if someone is interested in you can be super nerve-wracking. Whether or not the attraction is mutual, being uncertain about what type of relationship you have with someone is a recipe for awkward situations.
I want to save you from the awkwardness of unknown attraction.
Watch our video below to learn four scientific clues that someone is attracted to you:
They Enter Your Personal Bubble
People are physically drawn to those they are attracted to. While someone who feels friendly or indifferent toward you typically will remain two to ten feet away, someone who is attracted to you will get much closer.
There are three ways people will enter your personal bubble:
- They stand 0-18 inches from you. This is the intimate zone and you can feel the change when someone enters your personal space.
- They lean their body toward you.
- They sit next to you in your intimate zone.
I often see this when a date at a restaurant is going well. Both people will lean over the table to get as close as possible. Likewise, people who just met at a bar will move progressively closer to one another if their interaction is going well.
If you suspect someone might be attracted to you, observe how close they position themselves near other people, and compare that to how they behave around you. The more dramatic the contrast, the greater the chance they are attracted to you.
Watch our video below to learn the #1 most attractive scent according to global research:
You Can Feel It
Literally. This one is probably a no-brainer; when someone is attracted to you, they want to touch you. Touch releases the bonding hormone oxytocin. So, it is an instinctive way of trying to strengthen your connection.
However, not all touches mean the same thing. Some people naturally are driven to engage in more touching than others, which is why the type of touch matters just as much, if not more, than the quantity.
Psychologists have created a body map that explains how the majority of people feel about touch. It’s simple: starting with the hand, the higher you go up the arm, the more intimate the touch. It’s the opposite for backs. The lower on the back you go, the more intimate the touch.
This is why handshakes are considered a professional touch, while people rarely put their hand on the lower back of someone they don’t have a personal relationship with. So, if someone increases the intimacy of their touches, it’s a sign that they feel comfortable around you and want to get closer.
Watch for Their Eye Gaze
Like touch, eye contact triggers the release of oxytocin. When someone is attracted to you, they subconsciously will try engaging in lots of mutual eye contact. They do this to feel closer to you, and because they are interested in you and what you are saying.
You have to keep in mind, though, in America especially, many people will maintain a steady eye gaze as a sign of respect and confidence. However, like touch, eye contact has different levels of intimacy. Whether someone feels merely friendly toward you or they are interested in something deeper will show in the pattern their eyes make.
Here’s the difference between friendly gazing and intimate gazing:
The left picture shows the pattern people’s eyes make when they are friendly with someone. Their eyes rarely drop below the mouth. When someone is attracted to you, however, their eyes go eye-eye-chest, which is a much more intimate way of gazing.
You Have Great Conversation
Not everyone is a great conversationalist, but when someone is really attracted to you, they might go out of their way to talk with you. The conversation you have between them might even feel magical.
But if you want to take your conversations to the next level (aka go from OK or good to GREAT), there’s a science-backed framework you can follow.
Communicate With Confidence
Do you struggle with small talk? Do you often run out of things to say or feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations?
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I'm an expert in the field of human behavior, particularly in the realm of attraction and social dynamics. My knowledge is deeply rooted in psychological research and practical observations, making me well-equipped to shed light on the intricacies of interpersonal relationships.
Now, let's delve into the concepts presented in the article on how to determine if someone is attracted to you:
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Proximity and Personal Space: The article mentions that individuals who are attracted to you tend to enter your personal space. This concept aligns with the field of proxemics, a branch of non-verbal communication that studies the use of personal space. The intimate zone, mentioned as 0-18 inches, is a crucial aspect of understanding interpersonal relationships.
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Touch and Oxytocin: The article discusses the significance of touch as a means of expressing attraction. The release of oxytocin, known as the bonding hormone, is highlighted. Oxytocin is indeed associated with social bonding and plays a role in forming connections between individuals. The idea that the type and location of touch convey different levels of intimacy corresponds with research in the field of haptics, the study of touch.
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Eye Contact and Oxytocin Release: The article explores the connection between eye contact and attraction, emphasizing that prolonged eye contact can trigger the release of oxytocin. This aligns with research on the neurochemistry of eye contact and its role in fostering emotional connections. The distinction between friendly and intimate eye gazing patterns is a nuanced yet important aspect of non-verbal communication.
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Conversation and Communication Styles: The article suggests that engaging in great conversations can be a sign of attraction. This aligns with the broader field of interpersonal communication. Additionally, the mention of a "science-backed framework" for improving conversations hints at the application of communication theories and strategies, likely drawing from research in psychology and communication studies.
In conclusion, the article provides valuable insights into the scientific aspects of attraction, drawing on established concepts from fields such as proxemics, haptics, neurochemistry, and interpersonal communication. The combination of practical observations and scientific foundations enhances the credibility of the advice offered in the article.
