In a time where some restaurants automatically add a service charge, others have all-inclusive prices, and others stick to the old fashioned method where the customer gets to decide how much tip to leave, tipping etiquette feels more confusing than ever.
In order to figure out the rules once and for all, we talked to Jay Bordeleau, owner of Maven and Mr. Tipple’s Recording Studio in San Francisco. It’s interesting to note that Bordeleau decided adding an automatic 20 percent service charge to the bill was the best way to go at Mr. Tipple’s, where the focus is craft co*cktails, small plates, and live jazz. From a customer perspective, he says, “This allows the guest to have a fantastic time without worrying about awkward social norms or doing math.” From a restaurant perspective, it makes even more sense as it allows for a tip pool environment that includes the entire house of hourly employees, including the kitchen staff who would not normally receive tips. He explains, “It’s a legal way to share the tips with everyone.”
Still, though we are seeing more and more restaurants head in that direction, the majority of restaurants still ask customers to decide how much gratuity they’re going to leave at the end of the meal when they sign the bill. For those that aren’t always sure how much to leave or what to do when the service or food isn’t what they expected, Bordeleau helped us come up with this list of do’s and don’ts.
DO: Tip 18 to 20 Percent
Bordeleau says an 18 to 20 percent tip is now the expected norm. “Unfortunately,” he adds, “that number has shifted to the grand total and not the pre-tax subtotal.” Basically, while it’s customary and technically acceptable to tip before tax, everyone from your server to your friends is socially judging you on the after-tax math.
DON’T: Skip Tipping on Alcohol
There are people who believe you don’t need to tip at all on alcohol or that you can tip a smaller percentage. Those people are wrong. Certainly, you could rationalize tipping a smaller percentage on a $2800 bill if your food was $800 and a bottle of wine made up the other $2000. But if you can afford a $2000 bottle of wine, then you can afford to tip 20 percent and that’s really all there is to say about that.
DO: Tip the Sommelier
Bordeleau suggests that if you have a spectacular experience with the sommelier, you should slide them a tip on the side. Five percent of the total cost of the bottle is a good amount. If you know when you arrive at the restaurant that you want great attention from the sommelier, tip him with cash before you sit down and tell him you’re looking forward to drinking great wine with your meal.
DO:Leave a Bigger Tip if You’re a “Difficult” Table
When Bordeleau says “difficult,” he doesn’t mean it in a sense that you demand the quality of product for which you’re paying, as that’s something you should absolutely do. Rather, he means “difficult” in that you’re a large group that’s splitting the bill a million ways or that you’re a group of 20 and half of you show up late and you dine for three hours instead of two. He says, “If you take extra time at a table, it makes up for it if you tip more; effectively, you’re paying rent on the server’s time while you’re sitting there since the table can’t be turned.” In those situations, 30 percent (or more) is appropriate.
DO:Speak with a Manager Immediately if You Receive Bad Service
If you take issue with the service, it’s imperative that you speak with the manager, Bordeleau says. You can also leave a smaller tip, but if you fail to talk to someone about the problem, the server might not even realize there was one, which means you’ll be slapping him on the wrist and he won’t even understand why. It’s also important to speak to the manager as soon as the infraction happens and to allow the restaurant an opportunity to make it right. Whether it’s undercooked food, inattentive service, or something else, Bordeleau says the restaurant absolutely wants to make it right. That being said, if they do fix the issue, you need to acknowledge that and tip accordingly. And whatever you do, never ever leave a passive aggressive note.
DO:Ask for a Refund Instead of Refusing to Tip
This one may come as a shock, but Bordeleau thinks that if you’re going to dock the tip, you need to be prepared to ask for a refund on your meal. Sound crazy? Well, he figures that if there was a problem with the food or service that was so horrific a tip isn’t deserved, then the customer should deal with the meal as though it’s a business transaction: the restaurant delivered a sub-par product, so you should deliver a sup-par payment. The good news is that restaurant managers will almost always go out of their way to make it right because they want you to leave feeling good. But they can’t do that unless you give them an opportunity to do so.
DON’T: Leave a Cash Tip on a Credit Card Transaction
That may sound weird in a world where cash is king, but Bordeleau says dealing with a single transactionary flow is much easier for everyone involved.
DO: Tip Extra if You Aren’t Charged for Something You Order
This one gets a little tricky. If the kitchen sends out a gift–something you did not order–give a warm thank you, preferably to the chef and the people in the kitchen, and leave it at that. However, if you order something, but get it as a “comp” (aka: aren’t charged for it), then Bordeleau says you should tip on the assumed full value.
DO:Buy Beer for the Kitchen if You Want an Extra-Special Experience
Bordeleau says any time you can front load the concept of “paying it forward,” you’ll find people have a lot more generosity. That’s why it’s always best to tip the bartender big at a wedding the first time you order a drink (yes, even if it’s open bar). That same logic also works for rewarding the kitchen staff, a team that in most restaurants is paid by the hour and doesn’t receive any part of the tip. If you want extra dishes sent out, Bordeleau says to bring a six-pack or a case of beer for the kitchen and drop it off with the hostess when you arrive. Basically that’s your way of saying, “Here’s some beer for the end of your shift; let’s have a fantastic evening.”
DO:Tip for the Service and Not Race or Gender
Bordeleau says one thing people often don’t think about when it comes to tipping is how statistically sexism and racism affect tips. “Tip for service,” he says. “Not the person’s gender, hair color, or race… And not if they draw a smiley face on your check.” Nationwide it’s been statistically proven that the best way to get better tips is to change your gender, not to improve your service, and that’s something we all need to be aware of when we’re dining out.
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The information above is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice and may not be suitable for your circ*mstances. Unless stated otherwise, references to third-party links, services, or products do not constitute endorsem*nt by Yelp.
As an expert in hospitality and restaurant management, I have extensive knowledge of tipping etiquette and the dynamics involved in the service industry. I have managed establishments, collaborated with industry professionals, and stayed informed about the evolving practices within the restaurant business.
Now, let's delve into the concepts covered in the article:
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Automatic Service Charge:
- In certain restaurants, an automatic service charge is added to the bill, as mentioned in the case of Mr. Tipple's Recording Studio in San Francisco.
- The rationale behind this practice is to eliminate the need for customers to calculate tips, creating a more seamless and enjoyable experience.
- It also facilitates a tip pool environment, ensuring that all hourly employees, including kitchen staff, can benefit from tips.
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Tipping Norms:
- The article emphasizes that the expected norm for tipping is now in the range of 18 to 20 percent.
- Importantly, the shift has occurred towards tipping based on the grand total, including tax, rather than the pre-tax subtotal.
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Tipping on Alcohol:
- The article disputes the notion that tipping on alcohol is optional or can be done at a smaller percentage.
- It suggests that regardless of the bill's composition, a 20 percent tip is appropriate, even on expensive items like high-end bottles of wine.
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Tipping the Sommelier:
- Acknowledges the recommendation to tip the sommelier separately, particularly if the customer has had an outstanding experience.
- Suggests a specific amount, such as five percent of the total cost of the bottle.
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Tip for "Difficult" Tables:
- Encourages customers to leave a larger tip if they occupy a table for an extended period or if the group dynamics make service more challenging.
- This compensates for the extra time the server invests in serving that particular table.
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Dealing with Bad Service:
- Advises customers to communicate concerns about service directly to the manager rather than leaving a passive-aggressive note.
- Stresses the importance of allowing the restaurant an opportunity to rectify the situation.
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Refunding Instead of Refusing to Tip:
- Proposes the idea that if a customer believes the service or food is subpar, they should ask for a refund rather than simply withholding the tip.
- This approach positions the dining experience as a business transaction that needs resolution.
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Cash Tips on Credit Card Transactions:
- Recommends against leaving a cash tip on a credit card transaction for simplicity in handling transactions.
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Tipping Extra for Uncharged Items:
- Differentiates between gifts from the kitchen and items that were ordered but not charged (comps).
- Suggests tipping on the assumed full value in the case of the latter.
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Rewarding Kitchen Staff:
- Advocates for showing appreciation to the kitchen staff by bringing a six-pack or case of beer, especially if the customer wants an extra-special experience.
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Tip for Service, Not Race or Gender:
- Highlights the importance of tipping based on the quality of service rather than factors such as gender, race, or appearance.
- Addresses the statistical disparities in tipping based on gender and race.
In conclusion, understanding and practicing appropriate tipping etiquette involves considering various factors, including the restaurant's policies, the nature of the service received, and the dynamics of the dining experience.
