Back in my dating days, I had one major problem. Although I usually had fun on dates and laughed and flirted and hit it off with guys, the end-of-date kiss wasn't always....there. As the date neared the end, I'd suddenly get nervous and start chatting (no awkward pauses for me!) and laughing (hahahahaha, aren't we having a great time, bwahaha?) and then kind of wave/duck/run into my apartment. I was nervous about the kiss--and it showed. But then, one day, my friend Lina told me something that changed my dating life forever...
One day, Lina and I were having dinner and started talking about first kisses. "I'm so glad I'm not a guy," I said. "Guys have to work up the nerve to kiss girls, while we just get to sit there and wait." To my surprise, Lina shook her head. "Girls actually do everything but the actual kiss," she countered. "We flirt, we smile seductively, we position ourselves in the room, we move closer...we orchestrate the whole thing. They just have to go in for the kill."
Oh my god, I realized. She was right. If I wanted these guys to kiss me, I had to set the scene. Here, my dears, are the three things I did (and it worked like a charm)...
SLOW DOWN. When you want to be kissed--say, at the end of a great date--slooooow down. Start speaking slower and let there be some pauses. Pauses are good! They help set the mood. Stand closer to him and talk softly. Basically, create that sexy scene.
LOOK AT HIS LIPS. Have you ever noticed that, right before a kiss, people stare at each other's lips? So if you want to be kissed, stare at his lips, not into his eyes. It's sexy, subtle way to tell him, "Dude, it's time to plant one."
FOCUS ON THE FEELING. Once he kisses you, concentrate on how it feels, not what he's thinking. It's so easy during a first kiss to get distracted by nerves ("Is he liking it? Should I move my tongue here? Turn my head to the right? Ahh!") but the kiss will be better if you just close your eyes and concentrate on what you're feeling. Trust us, if you like the way it feels, so will he.
What do you think? What's your advice for the perfect kiss? Do you also get nervous for that first one? And what was your perfect (or worst!) first kiss? Spill the beans!
Photo: Alexander Denomay
