Kissing: Reflections on Humans and Other Animals Making Out (2024)

Do dogs make out?

A couple of years ago, while I was at a dog park and having a great time watching dogs play, I heard a young girl screaming to her mom, "Look, look -- Rosie is making out with Henry!" I turned around just as her mom said, "Dogs don't make out," and caught Rosie and Henry in the act (for more on the etymology of the phrase "making out" please click here). Rosie was licking Henry's muzzle and inner mouth with a good deal of zeal, and he just stood there and didn't seem to mind it one bit. Henry then reciprocated, they went at it together until mom yelled "Stop it right now!", and I suppose what we were witnessing was some version of doggie make out. I'd seen it before and have seen it many times since.

I don't know if dogs really make out, but Valentine's day is approaching and, of course, because it's become such a moneymaker for a wide variety of products, TV ads show pricey gifts and humans couples kissing as they exchange products that few if any really need. People also buy Valentine's gifts for dogs and other household companions, but all I've ever witnessed when the gift is given is a quick peck on the head and something like, "You're such a good dog, I love you."

A recent essay by Jeremy Adam Smith called "The Subversive Power of the Kiss" made me think about the evolution of kissing. Kissing has only evolved in around half of human cultures and isn't all the common among nonhuman animals (animals). You wouldn't know how rare it actually is from all the hoopla about kissing and countless pictures of all sorts of humans and other animals engaging in this activity. And, there's no shortage of pondering about different aspects of kissing in these pages.

One interesting idea that's emerging from research is that there might be gender differences in who gets what out of kissing, at least in humans. The subtitle for Dr. Smith's thoughtful essay reads, "Just in time for Valentine's Day, a wave of studies suggests that the rise of romantic kissing is linked to the changing roles of women." He nicely considers many other theories for the evolution of kissing but in the end, it's not at all clear why kissing has evolved. Smith concludes, "So why do couples kiss? For pleasure, sure, but there’s more to kissing than what meets the lips. From an evolutionary perspective, it seems, women kiss for freedom and control. If men seem to enjoy it, too—well, that might be just a happy accident."

Do other animals really kiss and swap saliva and smells like we do and for the same reasons?

There's no shortage of articles about kissing by nonhuman animals. A Google search for "Do animals kiss?" generated about 26,900,000 hits and some websites with pictures of a wide variety of animals kissing in their own sorts of ways. I found an essay by Melissa Hogenboom called "Why do humans kiss each another when most animals don't" to be a good summary of what we know and what we think we know about the evolution of kissing in humans and other animals. The teaser for her essay reads, "A new study finds that half of human cultures don't practice romantic lip-on-lip kissing. Animals don't tend to bother either. So how did it evolve?" We also learn that kissing is a rather recent practice.

Ms. Hogenboom writes:

Yet everyone surely remembers their first kiss, in all its embarrassing or delightful detail, and kissing continues to play a big role in new romances.

At least, it does in some societies. People in western societies may assume that romantic kissing is a universal human behaviour, but a new analysis suggests that less than half of all cultures actually do it. Kissing is also extremely rare in the animal kingdom.

So what's really behind this odd behaviour? If it is useful, why don't all animals do it – and all humans too? It turns out that the very fact that most animals don't kiss helps explain why some do.

The research article to which she refers is called "Is the Romantic–Sexual Kiss a Near Human Universal?" in which the researchers conclude, based on an analysis of 168 cultures:

Despite frequent depictions of kissing in a wide range of material culture, we found no evidence that the romantic–sexual kiss is a human universal or even a near universal. The romantic–sexual kiss was present in a minority of cultures sampled (46%). Moreover, there is a strong correlation between the frequency of the romantic–sexual kiss and a society's relative social complexity: the more socially complex the culture, the higher frequency of romantic–sexual kissing.

We also learn that it's possible that "kissing is just a culturally acceptable way to get close enough to another person to detect their pheromones... So if you want to find a perfect match, you could forego kissing and start smelling people instead. You'll find just as good a partner, and you won't get half as many germs. Be prepared for some funny looks, though." Taste might also be important when we swap saliva.

In Ms. Hogenboom's essay, relying on renowned primatologist Frans de Waal's observations of kissing, we read,

Our closest relatives, chimpanzees and bonobos, do kiss. Primatologist Frans de Waal of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, has seen many instances of chimps kissing and hugging after conflict. For chimpanzees, kissing is a form of reconciliation. It is more common among males than females. In other words, it is not a romantic behaviour. Their cousins the bonobos kiss more often, and they often use tongues while doing so. That's perhaps not surprising, because bonobos are highly sexual beings.

What's really happening in hearts and heads during kissing

All in all, we really don't know much about the evolution of kissing, whether other animals kiss the ways we do and for the same or similar reasons, or the neurobiology of kissing. Perhaps neuroimaging studies, when interpreted with care, will shed some light on the hows and why's of kissing -- what's happening in hearts and heads -- and its relationship to romance and love (please see, for example, Dr. Joe Pierre's essay called "Your Brain in Love" where kissing isn't even mentioned). Along these lines, I did find one short video called "The anatomy of kissing and love in magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scanner."

So, where to from here? For now, sage advice seems to be do it with a willing partner, enjoy it, try different styles, and go from there, and let the academics have at it about the nitty-gritty details of how and why lips and tongues meet in myriad ways. And, if you have the good fortune of sharing your life with a dog or other animal, let them kiss too. How can that be a bad idea in a world in which violence dominates all sorts of media?

Marc Bekoff's latest books are Jasper's Story: Saving Moon Bears (with Jill Robinson), Ignoring Nature No More: The Case for Compassionate Conservation, Why Dogs Hump and Bees Get Depressed: The Fascinating Science of Animal Intelligence, Emotions, Friendship, and Conservation, Rewilding Our Hearts: Building Pathways of Compassion and Coexistence, and The Jane Effect: Celebrating Jane Goodall (edited with Dale Peterson). (Homepage: marcbekoff.com; @MarcBekoff)

Kissing: Reflections on Humans and Other Animals Making Out (2024)

FAQs

Why do humans kiss but not animals? ›

At its most basic, kissing is a mating behavior, encoded in our genes. We share the vast majority of those genes with the mammalian species, but only humans (and occasionally our close primate relatives like chimps and bonobos) kiss.

What do animals think when we kiss them? ›

According to Animal Behaviorists, 'dogs don't understand human kisses the same way that humans do. ' When kissing a young puppy, you may not notice any signs of recognition at all because they have yet to associate kisses with affection.

Do any other animals kiss like humans? ›

Many animals actually do engage in kissing-like behaviours to show affection. These behaviours are so diverse, from dogs sniffing and licking potential mates, to elephants putting their trunks in each other's mouths. However, one animal kisses just like we do: the bonobo ape.

Do you believe that the animals have human like feelings and emotions expound your answer? ›

Scientific research backs the idea of emotions in animals. In fact, researchers have observed empathy in them, as well as grief, fear and other complex emotions often associated primarily with humans.

Why does making out feel good? ›

Along with the oxytocin and dopamine that make you feel affection and euphoria, kissing releases serotonin — another feel-good chemical. It also lowers cortisol levels so you feel more relaxed, making for a good time all around.

What is the difference between kissing and making out? ›

Kissing is a way to show love and affection, but it can also be a formal way of greeting. However, making out is a more intimate physical act that involves a long kiss with additional groping of each other's bodies. Making out is a slang term of having sex with a girlfriend.

Is it safer to kiss a dog or a human? ›

Through a series of tests, the dog fence company has found that the human mouth has 1.4 times more bacteria than a dog's kisser (er, licker) — that's a difference of about 2,000,000 germs. Woof! This information shows it is safer to kiss the dog you love over the human you love.

Do animals know what I love you means? ›

But since dogs don't speak the same language we do, it's always been questioned whether dogs really understand what we mean when we express our love. As it turns out, a new study indicates that dogs do understand the words “I love you”—at least, to some degree!

Do dogs know human kisses are love? ›

Do Dogs Like Being Kissed? Really, the first question to ask is whether dogs understand kisses from people. It turns out that while dogs are pretty good at recognizing human emotions, they don't instinctively know what kisses are.

Do animals enjoy mating like humans? ›

Studies propose that animals do not only enjoy having sex but also have org*sms. Moreover, it is nearly impossible to measure directly, but their facial expressions, body movements, and muscle relaxation hint at a pleasurable climax during their sexual intercourse.

Do humans mate with other animals? ›

At this point, humans seem to have been separate from other animals for far too long to interbreed. We diverged from our closest extant relative, the chimpanzee, as many as 7 million years ago. (For comparison, our apparent tryst with the Neanderthals occurred less than 700,000 years after we split off from them.)

What animals can fall in love with humans? ›

Here are some of the animals most likely to bond with us, according to experts.
  • Dogs. Chris Jackson/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images. ...
  • Cats. Ryan Pierse/Getty Images News/Getty Images. ...
  • Chickens. Joern Pollex/Getty Images News/Getty Images. ...
  • Pigs. Hannah Peters/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images. ...
  • Horses. ...
  • Rabbits. ...
  • Rats. ...
  • Parrots.
Jan 22, 2019

How do humans and animals relate to each other? ›

The human-animal bond is a mutually beneficial and dynamic relationship between people and animals that is influenced by behaviors essential to the health and wellbeing of both. This includes, among other things, emotional, psychological, and physical interactions of people, animals, and the environment.

Do animals have feelings in a similar way that humans have feelings? ›

Pythagoreans long ago believed that animals experience the same range of emotions as humans (Coates 1998), and current research provides compelling evidence that at least some animals likely feel a full range of emotions, including fear, joy, happiness, shame, embarrassment, resentment, jealousy, rage, anger, love, ...

How do animals express their love to humans? ›

Both humans and animals produce the hormone oxytocin, known as the "bonding" hormone. This hormone is released in the brain when there are strong feelings of affection for another person or animal. And our pets show this flood of feel-good hormone in their brain by engaging in tail wagging or purring.

Why does he shake when we make out? ›

When someone gets very excited adrenaline is released. One of the side effects of adrenaline release is mild shaking. Kissing your body just got him very excited.

Why do we kiss with tongue? ›

Some believe that kissing with tongue is a natural evolutionary progression that aids in mate choice. Others, citing cultures where kissing with tongue is not only absent but looked down upon, believe making out is a specific learned behavior that's gained popularity due to media consumption and globalization.

Do guys get attached after making out? ›

When it comes to men getting emotionally attached after sex, it largely depends on the circ*mstances. Most times, it cannot be predicted because men love for different reasons. Therefore, when a man sees attributes he likes in a partner, he might become emotionally attached if he has sex with the person.

How do you properly make out when kissing? ›

If you want a full-on make-out sesh
  1. Pay attention to body language. ...
  2. Gradually increase the intensity. ...
  3. Make eye contact between, or even during, kisses. ...
  4. Take a break from their lips. ...
  5. If you're going to bite, be gentle.

Do you breathe while making out? ›

Don't forget to breathe.

Your partner may take your breath away, but you should still be able to breathe during your kiss. If you're having trouble breathing, it may mean the two of you are smooshing your noses together or in an uncomfortable position.

How long should a good makeout session last? ›

However, on average, make out sessions usually last around 10-15 minutes. This allows partners to explore each other's mouths and bodies without getting too carried away. Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule!

Can I make out with my dog? ›

In most cases, we say it's better not to kiss your dog. However, recent research suggests that dog saliva could aid wound healing. Yes, your dog has bacteria in their mouth. Pastuerella – lives in the mouths of cats and dogs that can cause skin, lymph node and, sometimes, more severe infections.

Is it OK to let dogs lick you? ›

Should You Allow Your Dog To Lick You? For most healthy people, a dog licking faces or other body parts should pose minimal health risk. If you are concerned, then do not let dogs lick your mouth or anywhere near an open skin wound.

Is it OK to sleep with my dog? ›

Go ahead and sleep with your dog—it's perfectly safe, as long as you are both healthy. In fact, sharing your bedroom with your canine companion—as long as he isn't under the covers—may actually improve your sleep, according to recent research published by Mayo Clinic Proceedings.

What animals Cannot feel love? ›

For example insects, arachnids and crustaceans don't feel any type of emotion. They don't show any signs of fear or pain. This is just down to the fact that their brain is too simple to hold this information.

How do dogs say I love you? ›

Your dog might jump on you, lick your face, and they'll definitely wag their tail. Being excited and happy to see you is one way you can be assured they love and miss you. They seek physical contact. This can come in the form of a quick nuzzle, a cuddle, or the famous lean.

Can your pets fall in love with you? ›

Science proves that part of the canine brain is associated with positive emotions and they do, indeed, feel love for their human companions.

Why do dogs put their paw on you? ›

Conclusion: Pawing means your dog wants your attention. If your dog puts their paw on you while you're spending time together, it's likely an expression of affection or the gestural equivalent of “pet me more!”

Do dogs understand human crying? ›

Previous research has shown that when humans cry, their dogs also feel distress. Now, the new study finds that dogs not only feel distress when they see that their owners are sad but will also try to do something to help. The findings were published today (July 24) in the journal Learning and Behavior.

Why do dogs follow you into the bathroom? ›

“The main reason dogs follow us to the bathroom is because they like to be where we are,” Dr. Coppola explains. “Dogs are obligate social animals, which means socialization is a genuinely natural behavior for them. This is part of what makes them such fantastically loyal companions.”

Is there a biological reason for kissing? ›

D., says kissing may have evolved as a primitive feeding gesture between mother and child, where the mother chews up small portions of food and then transfers it to her baby. Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph. D., adds that another very important part of human evolution is the courtship and mating process.

When did humans start kissing and why? ›

The earliest reference to kissing-like behavior comes from the Vedas, Sanskrit scriptures that informed Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, around 3,500 years ago, according to Vaughn Bryant, an anthropologist at Texas A&M University who specializes in the history of the kiss.

Are humans the only animals with lips? ›

Birds get on just fine without them, turtles' lips have hardened into beaks as well, and while most mammals have lips, we humans are in a class all our own having lips that are permanently turned outwards.

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